No news is . . .

just downright annoying (i think we've been here before).

We still haven't heard any news about the pathology lab report. I didn't expect to hear from the surgeon's office today as Wednesday is surgery day for the practice. What I did expect to happen today, also didn't happen.

Today was the second appointment to have my catheter removed. And disappointingly, when tested and x-rayed, there were signs of the sutures were still leaking. So for now I need to wait again to have it removed.  This time however it will mean a trip back to Sloan-Kettering instead of having it taken care of locally.

My local urologist, Dr, Jeremy Kaufman, is intelligent, informative, supportive and a really nice guy. But as he reiterated today, he wasn't my surgeon, and not having been part of the surgery and being totally aware of what transpired during my surgery, there is only a certain point to which he can make the call as to the correct time to remove the catheter.  Obviously, if the sutures are leaking, he really can't remove it yet.

So, it looks like there's an early trip back to Sloan-Kettering in New York, and an appointment with my surgeon and his staff next Tuesday.

Tomorrow is my wife Janet's birthday.  I had ordered a few things online for her (which have already arrived), but I truly wish I could do more. She really deserves it after all of this.

'Til next time. . .  cheers!

Two weeks post surgery . . .

Progressing, slowly. Overall I feel OK, but my appetite is still off (good thing for  my weight I guess).

Tomorrow I'm scheduled (again) to have the catheter removed after two weeks. I'm really hoping that the test that will be done will show that the sutures are no longer leaking and that the catheter can finally come out.

Outside of a low grade fever the last 2 or 3 days, which I'm attributing to a flare up of my diverticulitis, and my sleep patterns being totally out of whack, I feel OK physically.

How am I in my head? For the most part I'm doing good.  This has all happened so "fast" that in respects, it still hasn't sunk in that I have cancer.  I don't think I've taken the time to process it for myself.  I've been more concerned for my wife, our sons and my parents.

I've had my moments of feeling overwhelmed, but I'm so wrapped up in being more concerned about my family that it will be some time before it catches up with me. Maybe when that time comes, it won't bother me so much. I know that Janet is having a difficult time, as you might expect. After all, we've been together for nearly 30 years.

I was upstairs the other day and noticed a pile of tissues on the nightstand - she's been crying herself to sleep (I've been sleeping downstairs in a rented hospital bed since I came home). Janet had told me the other day that she had been feeling helpless, that there isn't much she feels she's been able to do to help me.  She's still working and has her classroom and teaching responsibilities. I'm not going to put any additional pressure on her, and there really isn't much she can do to help me get better other than to be there for me when she can.

For both of us, the one thing we are waiting for is the pathology report which is due today or tomorrow.  The results of which will give us the most telling news of everything that's been going on.  It will be the final "grading" of my cancer and give us more of an idea of where we go from here.  It's something I'm looking forward to hearing, but at the same time it's something I'm quite anxious about.

Missed the first milestone . . .

I had an appointment to have the Foley catheter removed this morning.  I still have it in place. It's not necessarily a bad thing, just a disappointment and a delay.

Prior to removing one's catheter after a urinary surgery where the urethra was cut, the Dr's. need to confirm that the sutures have taken and that the urethra is not leaking.  The x-ray with contrast  showed a slight leak at the sutures.

So, I need to wait as along as another week before I can the catheter removed.  Again, nothing serious - just a bit disappointing.

Last night was bad.

From about 12:30am, until about 5:30, I was just about in tears from the pain of surgical gas pressure. The gas pain and muscle cramps were so bad, I was only making it through it all by remember and doing a Lamaze style breathing.

The docs and nurses warn you about this before the surgery, after the surgery, and anyone who that has experienced this type of surgery will tell you similar stories. But, until you experience it (experience delivery of a baby) you have no idea how painful last night was.

I'm so exhausted, I almost feel delusional. Time to try and settle down for some sleep.

5 days post surgery . . .

Again, we wait.  The pathology report should be back by the 23rd, and that will give us the true reading/grading of the cancer (tumor & nodes). Once that is done, the next marker will be the next PSA reading from blood work to be done about 6 weeks from now.

Normally, the PSA (prostate-specific antigen) is a "zero" or at a "non-detectible" level.  In this case, Dr. G is looking for a reading of "0.05" of better.  If there is any detectible PSA, then adjunct treatment of radiation, hormone deprivation or chemo may be required.

For now, that's pretty much it. I'm working on my recovery from  surgery, and then we'll move on to the next step.

Thanks for checking in and caring about myself and my family.  Your continued prayers and support will be appreciated.

a short update . . .

I came home yesterday, and I guess I feel about as well as can be expected. I'm at that gaseous stage from the surgical C02, which is proving to be more painful to deal with than I thought but I"m getting through it.

Not much of an appetite right now so I'm a bit weak and tired. I need to eat some food in order to take the pain meds so I don't get any more nauseous, but I'm already borderline because of the gas pressure so I'm just fighting through it.

The time has finally come . . .

of course that "time" changed yesterday.

Just as we were leaving the house for NYC yesterday afternoon, the hopsital called and let us know that surgery was moved from 8am this morning to 1pm this afternoon. Another half-day of fasting (no food or water since about 9:30 last night).

Janet, Evan & Ryan are downstairs having breakfast while I take care of a few pre-surgical tasks. Jason will have a bit of a tough day. Southern CT Univ. theater department's fall show opens tonight, and Jason is the sound team leader. I know that many are praying for my recovery, for my doctors and medical staff, but I want to also ask you for your prayers for my family, including my parents, Norman & Marjorie Palazini, and my in-laws, Walter & Faith Hicks. I know they are all understandably concerned.

OK gang . . . . it's about time to head out. See you on the other side!