Wednesday, September 30, 2009

14 days, and counting . . .

and I'll be under the knife.


I'm scheduled for a couple of more tests tomorrow, and then again next Tuesday. Mainly they are just to confirm I'm healthy enough for surgery, and to get baseline readings on blood pressure, blood chemistry, EKG, etc.  All stuff moving closer.


Of course I'm looking forward to getting the surgery over with, but at the same time I have to admit - I'm becoming more anxious about it as time goes on. It may have more to do with the fact that I'm not all that busy at work right now, and it's hard to keep the mind from drifting too much.


I'm not worried so much about myself, as much as I am about Janet and the boys. I'm fully aware of the risks of the surgery, and surgery in general, and I'm worried that they won't be prepared if anything were to happen. It's certainly not something I can speak with the kids about, and of course Janet's staying positive (as I am) that everything will be fine - so the discussion of "what if" won't ever happen between us.


NOW FOR THE MUCH LIGHTER NOTE . . . . .


On a kind of ironic side note, after twice having rescheduled my service for jury duty in Connecticut . . . .   my last rescheduled date is next Tuesday, Oct. 6th.  Of course I can't make it as I have my last set of pre-surgical tests and exams that same day!  


Obviously, I've planned this all along just to avoid serving.  I hope that the State of Connecticut doesn't find out.  ;^) Bwaaaaaahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa





Monday, September 28, 2009

Now I remember why I don't like Mondays . . .

There are some Monday's that you just want to start over again.  (and I had nothing else to really write)

First, someone spilled some of their coffee on me while on the train this morning.  Not too bad, but the shirt I'm wearing has some stains on it now and I don't have anything else with me.  Grrrrrrrr . . .   not sweating the small stuff any more.

Next . . .  the glass slides from my biopsy were supposed to be sent to my surgeons' office in NYC . . .    the lab (Dianon), after getting the slides back from Yale Cancer Center, sent them back to Yale and not to my doctor in NY.  Major problem, no.  Pain in the neck, YES!!!!

There's a chance that this will cause a delay in my surgery date because the slides need to be reviewed by the pathology lab at Sloan-Kettering to confirm my diagnosis before surgery.  It's just a minor mistake, but it may hold up my surgery another week so to me it's a major screw up.

Then there's the fact the Red Sox allowed the "skankees" to clinch the AL East by being swept.  Yes, the AL East was going to NY, but it didn't have to be the Sox that gave it to them.

Yeah,  tough Monday.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

First visible signs of concern . . .

. . . from Evan and Ryan.

Evan (16yo) had made a point this year to once again make the headmaster's list in school for each of this years' tri-mesters.  Between the usual teenage angst, friendship concerns and my cancer, he's already started to show some chinks in his armor.  He's a strong kid, but he doesn't have many strong friendships where we live with all the moves we've had to make due to jobs changes over the last 7 years.  They all came at that critical time when the strongest bonds of friendship develop.

Ryan (12yo) also showed a bit of worry.  Two weeks ago was his middle school's parent open house. All the kids were supposed to write something about themselves; their likes, interests, who they admire, what they want to be and what they want out of this year.

I was the one Ryan said he admired the most. Not a sports superstar or a musician.  Me - even though he's almost 13, it's still me.  When Janet asked him about the rest of what he wrote, like what he might be interested in doing when he got older; "I think it would be cool to learn to fly", he told Janet he was just making things up just to get the assignment done.  He's a pretty quiet kid and doesn't share his feelings much.

As Janet pressed him for a bit more, she noticed his eyes welling up.  He said he wished I didn't have cancer.  It's the first time he's exposed any emotion since we first told the boys almost three weeks ago.

I want to spend as much time with them as I can just doing some fun things with them and hope that they will both open up a bit to me so they aren't holding anything in and getting more worried than they need to.

Ryan is going away for the weekend for a church retreat with ClubJV - the middle school youth group.  He seems to have some small issues with going, but I think I've been able to let him know it's OK for him to go and that he should just have a blast with his friends.

Now that there's a scheduled surgery, some of this may become a bit more real for them and it may be a bit more difficult for them in the coming weeks.

We haven't heard much of anything from Jason for a few weeks - not even for money.   :^)
We've only seen him once in the last month, even though school is only about 40 minutes away in New Haven, CT.  I know he's busy with balancing his school work and the rehearsals for the fall shows at SCSU.  I just don't want his coping mechanism to be "staying out of touch", but I can certainly understand and won't make an issue out of it.

With surgery 3 weeks away from today, I'm even more anxious to get on with all of this than I was before.  I think the wait is going to bother me more than anything else. When the doctor said there was no real need to wait any longer, Janet laughingly asked "Can we do it tomorrow?".  If the doctor's schedule was open, and they had done their own confirmation of the cancer diagnosis from the biopsy slides, they would get us in this week.

Unfortunately, due to hospital insurance reasons - and a recent incident at another NYC hospital where a surgery had been performed, the patient's initial cancer diagnosis was wrong and the prostate was removed when it wasn't cancerous - they need to confirm the cancer in their own lab.

In our meeting with the surgeon, he did let us know that one thing that we should expect is a higher level of pain during recovery.  Though my age is a bonus for recovery, younger patients experience a higher level of pain with this surgery than older ones mainly because of the fact that our mobility isn't as limited as an older patient's might.

I just re-read this and I'm starting to ramble a bit, so that's all for now before you're any more confused.

Thanks for stopping by.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Alrighty then . . . . .

Hi gang -

Yeah! Surgery is currently scheduled for Wednesday, Oct.14th at Memorial Sloan-Kettering in Manhattan. Finally.

There is, however, an expectation that the cancer has moved beyond the "capsule" surrounding the prostate, but there are no specific signs of any major involvement of the lymph nodes (determined in MRI by change in physical size) in the surrounding area. What this means is that the surgical "margins" will need to be wider than anticipated to assure that as much of the cancer as possible is removed by removal of the localized lymph nodes and perhaps some surrounding soft tissue. This is still relatively good news, but we need to remain cautious in the coming weeks and months as we move forward. More than likely there will be a round of radiation therapy, or chemo (or both) approximately 4 to 6 weeks after surgery.

That's pretty much it for now. It's been a long and very emotional day. I'll catch up with you all again soon.



Monday, September 21, 2009

No news is . . .

Well, it's just kind of annoying.  So here I am again. . . .

Janet and I are meeting with Dr. Bertrand Guilionneau at Memorial Sloan-Kettering in Manhattan tomorrow for the first time to discuss surgical options and treatment.

I'll be honest, I'm concerned about the extended wait.  It's just seems odd that I need to wait 6 to 8 weeks post-biopsy.  Of course I STILL HAVEN'T ASKED, so that's my own fault.  This process has just brought a new light to how much I need to advocate for myself and not rely on the physicians to make all the recommendations. I did get surgical recommendations from my urologist, but they were primarily surgeons that perform traditional "open" surgery and not the "laparoscopic" or robotic laparoscopic that are my preference.

I suppose it's possible that I'm not a candidate for the robotic surgery for some reason, but no one has told me that yet even though I've expressed my preferences numerous times. No matter what, I just want to get moving forward with this and not give the cancer anymore time to spread.

All that aside, the family and I made a trip back home to Massachusetts over the weekend for a visit with friends and family.  We had a good time, it was so nice to see some old neighbors and friends from our church in Andover - all of whom wanted updates and are praying for all of us.

Anyway, that's pretty much all for now.  Perhaps after our meeting at Sloan-Kettering tomorrow, I'll have some "forward moving" news.

Cheers!

CJP
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P.S.  -  I'd also appreciate prayers for an old friend and co-worker Ken Sjogren from our days at Target Productions in the late 80's and early '90s.  Ken has been a great source of support in recent weeks, as well as a great source of information. Unfortunately it's because he went through this himself exactly a year ago.  His diagnosis came last September, and surgery in November.   Though the surgery itself was a success, his outcome wasn't nearly as good as he had hoped. His PSA level remained high following surgery which is an indication that the cancer has spread.  Ken is continuing with treatments weekly and is keeping an amazingly great attitude telling me he feels good and is still working full days at his job as an effects compositor at Industrial Light & Magic in California (Yes, George Lucas' visual effects company).  He's been a huge help in my first few weeks dealing with this, and I so appreciate all of the insight he's had to offer.

The results of all of Ken's treatment won't be fully known until January when follow-up tests are done.  I'd appreciate a prayer for he and his family and friends as well.    Thanks.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

one step at a time I guess.

As much as I would like to just get on with it, I guess there's some waiting involved.

I have made consultation appointments starting in 2 weeks with two surgeons who perform robotic radical prostatectomies using the da Vinci robotic surgical system; one at Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in Manhattan, another one at Hartford Hospital.

I am told I need to wait 8 weeks after the biopsy date before I can have surgery to avoid any added chance of infection. So at the earliest I can have surgery is the first week of November . . .  ugh!  At that point it's also a matter of the surgical schedule.  Oh good . . . more waiting.

For now, I'm going to go back to work beginning this Monday. I'm hoping for a bit more of a relaxed schedule so when the time comes I can make all my appointments, and be well rested for when the surgery time comes around.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

The search is on . . .

I wanted to provide an update as to where things stand at this point. Forgive me if there's any information I may have already passed along to you, things have understandably been a bit of blur these last two weeks.

We gotten some good news late last week in that my bone scan was clean - indicating that the cancer has not spread. I'm still waiting to get the final report on the pelvic MRI which will provide signs of any localized lymph or soft tissue involvement.  The preliminary readings of the MRI also seem to be providing good news in that there seems to be so spread there as well.  So we are staying cautiously optimistic as the reality of the MRI results will only be proven at the time of surgery.

On the surgical front, I am in the process of scheduling and speaking with a few surgeons in NYC, CT and Boston who specialize in robotic radical prostatectomy surgery.  This type of surgery will provide the best treatment and options for post-surgical recovery.  The surgeons I am meeting/speaking with have been recommended by both my urologist as well as a few friends who have gone through this surgery in recent years - one of whom is 5 years younger than I am, and went through this exactly one year ago himself.  

Again, the best news is that this was caught, though not as "early" as one would like to have hoped.  I still feel fine and have not yet experienced symptoms of any kind, which is also good news for post-surgery recovery.  Due to the advanced state of the cancer, there may be a need for either chemo or radiation treatment in the weeks following the surgery, but that will be determined after a couple of weeks of recovery time and additional scans & blood tests.

I made the trip up to Woodstock, CT yesterday to tell my parents the news. They took it as well as you might expect - concerned, but well aware of the advancements that have been made with treatments of this type of cancer. I'm very glad I waited to let them in on the news as I knew what the bone scan & MRI results were in order to minimize the amount of worry they would obviously go through.  I had answers to give them, and a fairly good idea of what's coming down the road.

I am hoping that surgery will be able to be scheduled sometime in the next two or three weeks, I would really like to get this moving along and just the surgery over with.

Once again, Janet and I would like to thank everyone for their concern and support during these last few weeks.  There's a long fight ahead, but I'm ready for it.

Thanks again,

Chris

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Nothing new to report . . .

I've been doing some research on surgeons that perform minimally invasive DaVinci robotic radical prostatectomy.  This type of surgery posses the best option for full recovery with the least amount of long term residual effects.


I have an appointment Wednesday morning to meet with my urologist again to discuss the final findings of the MRI and bone scans.


Tuesday, I'm driving up to visit my parents and to give them the news about my cancer.  Now that there's more positive info, and a sense of knowing what's coming down the road, I feel better now about telling them about my diagnosis.  I am so happy I waited to tell them - I have answers for them now.




But, with all that said . . . .   this weekend is about celebrating our son Evan's 16th birthday and enjoying the beautiful weekend ahead of us.
Have a great time with your families and friends! 
Cheers!
CJP

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Good afternoon friends . . . .

As I mentioned late yesterday (9/2/09), the bone scan that was done appeared to be clear, and that there has been no spread into my bones. The feeling of relief over this small bit of news was overwhelming.   The first good news in about 3 weeks!

Janet was on the phone talking with one of her best friends (college roommates) when I got back home from getting the scans done, and I didn't want to interrupt her call. . . .  so I waited to tell her. . . and waited,  and waited.  When Janet and Joan talk, they TALK.  When I finally had the chance to tell Janet about the bone scan, it had been almost 4 hours!  She broke down in tears of relief as soon as it sunk in. (She then punched me in the arm for not telling her as soon as I got home). There's just been too much not knowing.

- - - - - - - - - -  - - - - - - - - - - - -

Janet and I met with the oncologist this morning, mainly to walk through the all the test results, and also to discuss the treatment options.

The radiologist still needs to review the MRI to determine if there's any issue with surrounding tissue or lymph nodes being affected before we make any decisions.  But, I'll take all good news as I can get it.

To everyone that has emailed, texted or called - thanks again so much for your concern and well wishes.  I'll say it again - I feel good and I'm not experiencing any symptoms, and I'm ready to get on to the next step to fight this off.  Faith, family & friends . . .  that's what really matters, and that's what will get my family and I through this.

If there's any more news, you'll see it here first.

CJP

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

BONE SCANS: COMPLETE

Just thought I'd drop something here - mainly for the sake of keeping my consecutive posting record intact.

So the bone scan(s) and pelvic MRI are done.  Two hours of trying to lay totally flat (keep the wise cracks to yourself people) and still. It sounded easier than it really was.

I was fortunate enough to have some great techs & nurses who were very compassionate and informative of the whole process.  The bone scan tech, Kate, asked one of the radiologists to stay a few minutes late so he could look at the scans.  Kate told me that she thought they looked really good, and wanted me to get some good news after two weeks of not knowing.

According to the radiologist, my bones look clear and the cancer looks to be localized to the prostate itself.  The best news I've heard in nearly a month.  It's not definitive, but I'll take what I can get.   Thank you Kate.

The radiologist's had all left by the time my MRI was completed, so I'll have to wait until tomorrow for the rest of the news.  For now, I think I'll be able to actually get a good night's sleep.

DOH!  The oncologist appointment is at 8am  and it's about 45 minute drive (Barring any major traffic issues on I-95 north on the Thursday before Labor Day Weekend.  (Looks like we're leaving about 6:45 just to be safe).

One last, and important note. . . .   many thanks to all our friends out there for their words of support.  You guys are great and we appreciate all the prayers and positive energy.


Cheers!

CJP

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Staying positive, and moving forward . . .

Things are moving along as fast as they can, I guess.

I have an MRI and full-body scan scheduled tomorrow (Wednesday) afternoon in order to determine if and how far the cancer may have spread.

I also have an appointment with an Oncologist @ 8am Thursday morning at Yale Cancer Center to discuss the test results.  At that point we will have a much better idea as to what we are dealing with and start to make a treatment plan. No decisions, just a look at where things stand

It's an appointment I am looking forward to in order to get started on fighting this, and at the same time, it's one that I'm dreading just as much.  Janet is taking the day off from work (school started yesterday where she teaches) to come with me.

Just so you understand the reason for the tests; if the cancer has already spread, then surgery to remove the prostate may not immediately be an option.  Either way, radiation and/or chemo may be in the near future. 

I look at it this way.  It's what needs to be done to get me better . . .  AND, I may not have to shave for the first time since I was 13 years old!!   Yeah, I know. . . kind of a weird thought, huh?

In my desire to do everything to keep life as normal as possible for my family, I took the family (except for Jason who's off at school) to a Bridgeport Bluefish game last night. We had a good time, though it actually got really cold out about two hours in.   I didn't bring a jacket - something else I'm going to have to be more conscience about in the months to come.

- - - - - - - -

In my first post I had mentioned something my urologist had said about the PSA test being somewhat over used, but if it wasn't for the test we wouldn't have known about my cancer.

A good and longtime friend of mine back in Massachusetts mentioned to me that there was an NPR story on prostate cancer diagnosis' this morning.  I've included the link below in an effort to provide as much information about this disease and the process of detection and treatment.
(I have no opinion per se about the article, I'm just passing it along as additional source of information)



Thanks again for everyone's prayers, love and support.  It helps and means a great deal to my family and I.


Cheers!

CJP